5

PK and I brought cupcakes to Q’s class yesterday. Mimi and Bubba are on a plane out here. A hotel for dinner and night swimming has been booked for tomorrow. Super hero capes, an ice cream truck, water balloons and pizza are all on standby for the big party on Saturday. 

It will never seem like enough. How do you say goodbye and celebrate at the same time? I feel so honored to have been the Mommy to baby Q and the Mama to toddler Q but it saddens me to realize that the days when I can pick up and squeeze him or fix his pain with a kiss are slipping away. I look at him with such awe, admiration and pride. His curiosity and kindness inspire me. Watching him continue to grow and experience the world excites me but selfishly it also kills. Every minute with him (and Isla) feels like such a gift- even when things aren’t going great. I want to hold onto that little baby forever but of course this isn’t a choice we get. 

So we will celebrate. We will celebrate Q’s silly “dance fight” and the way he can’t pass by a baby that he knows without stroking their cheek. We will celebrate his competitiveness and new tennis swing that is quite possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. We will celebrate that he only wants to be a “bucket filler.” We will celebrate that he loves to cuddle and read. We will celebrate that he takes his duties as Isla’s big brudder (to protect and teach her) so seriously. We will celebrate how he has captured our hearts and we will thank god for choosing us to be the ones to guide him through his journey here.

Happy 5th-Birthday-Eve Q-Manji/Budda Bud/Little Man/Sweet Boy.

Oh and I’ll take some solace in the fact that Q said he is also struggling with turning 5. Granted his reason was that he didn’t want his voice to change, but still! Where did he get that from?!